Outline from the Past
I look around. But I cannot see
beyond him. He may be gone, but his outline
remains. As if he has returned from the past.
I am trapped within the walls of my own mind.
Unable to move on. Unable to escape.
But I long to rise, if not for me, but for his peace.
I find it hard to believe that this so-called “peace”
is a feeling I will soon see.
I have given up on supposed escape
and believe that the tender outline
of him is forever etched in my mind,
as if the present has morphed into the past.
I feel the shivers from the past
erase the last bits of preceded peace
from my desolate and hopeless mind.
I just have one wish. I ache to see
his caring expression and loving outline
or to hear his kind words, before they too escape.
Everyone tells me, “You must fight, not escape!”
But that night. That day. I relive the past
as if it was yesterday. I hear the outline
of happiness illuminates and brings peace.
Where’s it though? I haven’t cleared enough debris to see
to my future and escape my trembling mind.
I will do it though. I will defeat my mind
and find a way out. Not through escape,
but through pure confrontation. I will see
the guiding light shine through the mournful past.
I will do this for no one but him. I seek peace
to honor the image in my mind - his outline.
I don’t want to ever forget his outline.
Despite the agony, I will conquer my mind
and regain my apparent “cure” known as peace.
I will see a better tomorrow and escape
from the torments of my bittersweet past.
And in the distance, a guiding light is what I see.
Self-belief has guided me to see
beyond his outline from the past
and start fresh, where I will confront rather than escape.
beyond him. He may be gone, but his outline
remains. As if he has returned from the past.
I am trapped within the walls of my own mind.
Unable to move on. Unable to escape.
But I long to rise, if not for me, but for his peace.
I find it hard to believe that this so-called “peace”
is a feeling I will soon see.
I have given up on supposed escape
and believe that the tender outline
of him is forever etched in my mind,
as if the present has morphed into the past.
I feel the shivers from the past
erase the last bits of preceded peace
from my desolate and hopeless mind.
I just have one wish. I ache to see
his caring expression and loving outline
or to hear his kind words, before they too escape.
Everyone tells me, “You must fight, not escape!”
But that night. That day. I relive the past
as if it was yesterday. I hear the outline
of happiness illuminates and brings peace.
Where’s it though? I haven’t cleared enough debris to see
to my future and escape my trembling mind.
I will do it though. I will defeat my mind
and find a way out. Not through escape,
but through pure confrontation. I will see
the guiding light shine through the mournful past.
I will do this for no one but him. I seek peace
to honor the image in my mind - his outline.
I don’t want to ever forget his outline.
Despite the agony, I will conquer my mind
and regain my apparent “cure” known as peace.
I will see a better tomorrow and escape
from the torments of my bittersweet past.
And in the distance, a guiding light is what I see.
Self-belief has guided me to see
beyond his outline from the past
and start fresh, where I will confront rather than escape.
Reflection:
For my third piece, I decided to compose a poem. More specifically, a sestina. Honestly, I still can’t believe the result and that I actually wrote this kind of poem despite the endless restrictions. When I first started to think about which type of structured poem I wanted to do, I immediately decided on sonnet since it looked a bit easier on the restrictions and it was shorter. After doing a genre study and more research though, I found that my idea would fit better into the sestina format as it was longer and I liked how the ending words repeated in different ways. I knew it would be tough but I decided to challenge myself and try it. As for my process, I decided to write the first stanza and get my six ending words from there. After I had them, I wrote out the rest of the poem with anything and everything that came to mind. Soon enough, I had written an entire sestina with the correct ending words! Then I went back and tweaked the lines a little to bit 8-12 syllables to follow the iambic pentameter, which requires around 10 syllables. While trying to meet all the criteria, I found that the use of enjambment came quite naturally to me. I don’t know whether it’s because I had to fit the same ending words or because I was trying to make it flow like a story, but I really liked the way it turned out.
For the story of my poem, I decided to keep it quite ambiguous and free for the reader’s interpretation. The main idea of the story is about someone who has lost a loved one and is trying to move on. I attempted to use character change where at the beginning of the poem, the character’s thoughts are short and rigid, showing how they are finding it difficult to construct lengthy thoughts. As the poem continues, their words become more hopeful and uplifting. Even though, unlike a sonnet, a sestina doesn’t require a “turning point,” I decided to include one between stanza 4 and 5 where the character’s thoughts transition from dark to light. I believe that this kind of story is something almost everyone can relate to as we have all experienced the tragedy of losing a loved one. I hope you connect to the story and enjoy reading this sestina.
For my third piece, I decided to compose a poem. More specifically, a sestina. Honestly, I still can’t believe the result and that I actually wrote this kind of poem despite the endless restrictions. When I first started to think about which type of structured poem I wanted to do, I immediately decided on sonnet since it looked a bit easier on the restrictions and it was shorter. After doing a genre study and more research though, I found that my idea would fit better into the sestina format as it was longer and I liked how the ending words repeated in different ways. I knew it would be tough but I decided to challenge myself and try it. As for my process, I decided to write the first stanza and get my six ending words from there. After I had them, I wrote out the rest of the poem with anything and everything that came to mind. Soon enough, I had written an entire sestina with the correct ending words! Then I went back and tweaked the lines a little to bit 8-12 syllables to follow the iambic pentameter, which requires around 10 syllables. While trying to meet all the criteria, I found that the use of enjambment came quite naturally to me. I don’t know whether it’s because I had to fit the same ending words or because I was trying to make it flow like a story, but I really liked the way it turned out.
For the story of my poem, I decided to keep it quite ambiguous and free for the reader’s interpretation. The main idea of the story is about someone who has lost a loved one and is trying to move on. I attempted to use character change where at the beginning of the poem, the character’s thoughts are short and rigid, showing how they are finding it difficult to construct lengthy thoughts. As the poem continues, their words become more hopeful and uplifting. Even though, unlike a sonnet, a sestina doesn’t require a “turning point,” I decided to include one between stanza 4 and 5 where the character’s thoughts transition from dark to light. I believe that this kind of story is something almost everyone can relate to as we have all experienced the tragedy of losing a loved one. I hope you connect to the story and enjoy reading this sestina.